My Love Letter/Business Proposal to Slanket

Dearest Slanket Proprietors/Press People,

I am a HUGE fan of the Slanket. I think it’s terrible that Snuggie stole the thunder. Clearly, the Snuggie is the homeless man’s Slanket. No second-rate infomercial should make people turn a shoulder to that fact. With my help, we can enlighten the ignorant masses about the beauty and majesty that is the Slanket. The product is fantastic, but the guerrilla buzz is lacking. I feel it is my duty to educate the world to the magic that is your fine product.

My marketing proposal is as follows – beat Snuggie at their own game. Snuggie CLAIMS to have a “Snuggie Bar Crawl” in the works in Boston, but they have yet to do so. Luckily, me and my early adopter friends (aka trendsetters) will be going out this weekend for my birthday. I propose that you send 20 Slankets, post haste (read= REALLY fast) to my work address below. I will ensure that EVERYONE wears the Slanket out on my birthday celebration this upcoming Saturday, and certainly will blog profusely about the glory of all things Slanket (http://wanderingmeg.wordpress.com/) as well as reach out to all my media friends (I work in media buying in advertising). Also, we will let everyone know who asks us about our attire that we are wearing Slankets, the obviously superior blanket with sleeves.

[Enter Fake Work Address here]

Please let me know your thoughts on my proposal as soon as you can gather your shareholders together to discuss this clearly important and imminent matter.

Your friend,

Meghan

This Week in Crazytown

<Start of rant>

Women are terrifying. As a woman, I have full reign to admit this. Note to men: You do not.

Fark.com posted a story about Alex Humphreys, the emerging 23 year old media darling who needed an answer for two common burdens of the young twenty-something female– a) Finding herself a husband and b) Homework. Obvious answer? Embark on a husband search AS her homework.

As a final project for a Visual Communications class at Leeds College of Art and Design in England, Alex will take three months to search for her lifelong mate, a task that she has dubbed “The Husband Project”.  The final product will be presented in June, and will not only incorporate some sort of account of her venture, but also ideally a marriage certificate AND a man.

What’s that you say?  You’re questioning the lady’s dedication to this quest?  You quiet those doubts!  Alex told the UK Guardian this week,  “I’m serious about finding the man I wake up next to for the rest of my life and marrying him before my course ends in June.”  Poor Alex claims she’s afraid that she’ll end up a spinster at the elderly age of 23.

Riiiight.

So I get it.  It’s a tough world out there for the twenty-something single gal.  Especially when you’re balancing friends, education, career, high afternoon tea, etc.  And the romanticized notions that girls have of dating aren’t  always the closest thing to reality.  But girl – you’re 23.  And so am I.  The word “spinster” shouldn’t yet exist in either of our vocabs’.

<End of rant>

The Closest That You’ll Ever Get to Heaven

I found this through my lovely friend LS (via FB post)– the original Led Zeppelin Kashmir video.  Okay, so I know that I’m on a video streak.  But everyone should hear this in their lifetime, even if it just makes you feel sad you weren’t alive to hear it in person:

The Rock Obama

SlapDashChatter, oh how I’ve neglected you so lately. . .

I happened to catch an SNL video below a little earlier in the week that was JUST funny enough to note here. Clearly, I haven’t been on my A-Game (not to be confused with the A-Team) when it comes to online video discovery lately – but I think this one MIGHT be just worthy enough to take your time to watch.

Check out the video below for the first 3 minutes. It’s chuckle-worthy – and has just enough liberal nuances to be enjoyable:

Tonya Harding Unintentionally Entertains People (Again)

Woo woo! Attention passengers – the Tanya Harding train(wreck) has once again pulled into the station.

I truly don’t know how she does it, but Tonya Harding has a knack for making people laugh. At her (obviously), as opposed to with her. Harding appeared on HBO: Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel a few weeks ago to whine about Obama’s mention of her in a not-so-positive (but humorous) light during a speech. In anecdotally referring to what his advisors claimed needed to be done to take on McCain during the election, he stated, “He’s gotta knee cap her. He’s gotta do a Tonya Harding on the front runner”. Apparently, this did not go over so well with Harding, as she preceeded to have a cryfest about it for God knows how long.

A little advice Tonya – Obama just provided you with an additional 15 minutes of fame. Perhaps instead of whining about it, why not spend your time doing something a little more constructive? Like writing him a thank you note. Or having surgery to get your voicebox permanently removed. If Obama referred to me in any context, I’d be completely thrilled. He could refer to that time I fell down the strairs while drinking in college and broke my finger as the “unfortunate embarassment”, and use it as a metaphor for that dark period when Jeremiah Wright nearly killed his entire campaign. Seriously, you wouldn’t be able to SLAP that smile off my face.

Watch the vid. It’s bound to entertain. Cheers!

Side note: I had a long, hard struggle in deciding upon which video to post. It was between the one above and also another true gem. Click here to see Tonya in all her fly-fishing glory. I promise, it will not disappoint.

Another Reason Not To Get Out of Bed in the Morning

Like many weeks prior, this past week brought another wave of new stories contributing to the new worldwide ailment, recession depression. Seriously, economy?! Even FARK appropriately designated their Photoshop Theme of the Week as adding insult to injury. Some of the highlights worth a good cry:

• Valleywag posted rumors yesterday that Apple will be making lay-offs. NOOOOO! Steve “Brickwall” Jobs isn’t capable of weathering a recession?
• China’s growth is staggering. CHINA?! The country that is supposed to take over the world in a few years? Say it ain’t so, Forbes!
• The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported in the Mass Layoffs Statistics report that there were 2,227 mass layoff actions in January, involving 237,902 workers.

But the most depressing of all? Entitled Final Edition, the video below depicts the last month of business and final moments for the 150 year-old Denver media institution, the Rocky Mountain News. Sad, but extremely poignant and indicative of the times:

Wipe away those tears, friend. This week DID bring just a little bit of sunshine. According to Perez, Prince is lovin’ the recession. We can all sleep soundly, now.

How Not to Dispose of the Evidence

Dear Anonymous CraigsList Creepster,

If you’re going to pull a Patrick Bateman, perhaps get rid of the evidence in a slightly more discreet manner. Just a friendly pointer. . .

Sincerely,

The SlapDashChatter Management

P.S. Table is spelled T-A-B-L-E. Pick up a dictionary, sir/madam.

European Play-Doh Brand Grows a Conscience

Black is Beautyfull via Gawker

Beck’s Modeling Clay (aka European Play-Doh), in attempts to be Benetton -like, published the ads shown above with the tagline “Let the kids build a better world”. Not exactly sure what to think about this creation. On one hand – you’ve gotta give them props for being innovative and edgy while simultaneously associating the brand with strong social causes. On the other hand – WTF guys? The imagery IS essentially racist. And while I understand that kids should be inundated with this type of messaging early on – is this really the platform to do it? Or is this campaign just provocative for the sake of being provocative?

Either way, kudos to their agency Scholz & Friends Hamburg, for some out-of-the-box thinking.

Secret Society Meet-up for the Digerati

I am admittedly absolutely intrigued by anything secret society-esque. Perhaps it’s my inherent nosiness- or the obnoxious desire to know everything before everyone else I know (quite the ambition, I know)- but I really can’t help it.

When Bodega opened in Boston, I wanted to show everyone MY new discovery ::ahem:: maybenotmyoriginaldiscovery. ::ahem:: It was with huge amounts of giddiness that I parked illegally on Clearway Street, guided my latest victim to the front door of what seemingly was a run down bodega (cockroaches on cereal boxes and all), and instructed them to walk up to the “Snapple machine”. And I swear, it never got old having that “Snapple Machine” open before their eyes and lead into a modern-looking high-end sneaker boutique. It. was. magical.

Simarly, when I came across AdAge’s article on Digital Hack Night, which will be hosted by P&G next week, I totally wanted in. Not even in on actual participation (although that’d clearly be fantastic). But I’m not an unreasonable individual, and considering I’m a) Not in Cincinnati and b) Not a top exec at Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn and Twitter (although I like to think highly of myself), I’d be happy with just a little information. And I’ve found nothing! P&G has asked invitees to keep it quiet – and they’ve actually listened! When has this even happened in the Social Media world?

Sigh. Guess I’ll have to wait till March 9th to find out (like everyone else). Just for the record – I blame Nick Denton. If Gawker hadn’t gobbled up Valleywag, I’d totally have an answer by now. Bullocks!